


you're beautiful

by circus (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-17
Updated: 2011-09-17
Packaged: 2017-10-23 19:58:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/254298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/circus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>07.00 “Sammy. Sammy. Sammy. Sammy.” <i>Just his name. Not of any use. No use. None. But keep saying it. Keep at it.</i> If it’s not going to wake his brother at least it’s going to keep him going a while longer. “Sammy. Sammy. Sammy.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're beautiful

“When’s Sammy coming?” Dean asked, as ever, as the pretty blonde woman tucked him in bed.

Mary’s answer was different from last night’s. Last night she had said, “A week.” This night, though, she smiled, “Perhaps tomorrow or the day after.” Dean grinned up at her, oblivious to the occasional flickers of pain across her face. Her muscles kept contracting like involuntary idiots, Goddammit. But she had to make sure of one last thing.

“Dean?” she murmured, stroking his hair as his adorable freckled eyelids slowly fluttered over his emerald eyes. Gold-lashed eyelids snapped open again. “Yes, Mum?”

“You won’t mind Sammy coming, will you?”

“Of courshe not, Mum! I’ll have a little brother for the firsht time!”

Mary chuckled.

“But Dean, that’ll make you a big brother. You know what that means, right?”

Dean nodded, lips in a confident pout. “I’ll haffta take care o’ him an’ make sure he never getsh hurt, ever ever ever, and I haffta know wha’ he feelsh all the time, and I haffta be there for ‘im whenever he needs summun to hug or cry, ‘cause he’sh the baby.”

Mary blinked. She’d never told him any of this, and yet he somehow knew.

“Did Daddy tell you, or did you realize that yourself?

Dean smiled, “I tawht it up myshelf. Daddy’sh coaching the older kids for baseball, he doeshn’t play with me anymore.” Dean’s mouth turned down at the corners slightly as he spoke.

Mary looked at him kindly and opened her arms, and Dean rushed into her lap, nestling his little head on her shoulder. “Don’t worry, Dean,” she murmured, “After the week’s over, he’ll be at home all day and look after you and Sammy with me.” Dean sniffed and ferociously dug his nose further into her shoulder. His mother rubbed his back, comfortingly.

~

“Mum! Mum!” Dean yelled, waving his arms wildly as he ran into the hospital room. The nurses frowned. “Your mother is to rest in quiet surroundings,” one of them reprimanded. She had stark red hair and bewitching sapphire eyes. Dean twinkled up at her, grabbed her hand and kissed it. “You-ah vewy pwitty, ma’am,” he grinnd, and ran past her, jumping onto his mother’s bed. “Mum!” he whispered, reverentially.

(The nurse was rooted to the spot. _Did a three year old actually just make a pass at her?_ She turned around and stalked out of the room, face flaming.)

“Dean, hi!” his mother replied, smiling weakly. “Mum’s not feeling that well right now, why don’t you check on Sammy?”

Dean turned around - and his jaw dropped. Nestling there, in the crib next to his mother’s bed, was a baby. He didn’t look like his mum, but he did look slightly like his daddy. A soft matting of light brown hair on his little head, and big eyes that were closed right now. His hands and feet were small, even smaller than Dean’s, and Dean knew his own hands were small because Daddy always joked about them and Mum always said so. His mouth was tiny and cherry-red and as Dean watched, he sighed and turned his head, waving his hands in the air, eyes still closed.

Mary smiled at the devotion that grew by the second in Dean’s eyes as he watched his newborn brother. “What do you think of him, Dean?”

Dean’s answer was so simple, she never expected it.

His eyes never went off Sam’s face as he whispered, “He’sh **beautiful**.”

 

~

 

As Dean lugged Sam over to the bed with Bobby shuffling behind him, all he could think of was that moment when he’d first laid eyes on Sammy, his little brother, his baby - adorable wonderful soft perfect - brother. Of the way his lashes had fluttered open when his mother had reached out a tired hand to pet his hand. The way he’d looked back at Dean with all the wonder of a new, puzzled being.

Bobby had left him in the house and Dean had simply laid Sam down, looking desperately into his younger brother’s face. “Sam? Sam? Sammy, please, don’t just leave me like this.”

He kept ranting, kept rambling, kept talking and talking and saying things he had the least idea of, kept squeezing the dead, cold hand, kept on kicking the foot of the bed, refusing to let the tears fall. “Sammy, come on, I know you’re there, for God’s sake, just please do something, say hi to me or something please Sammy. Sammy I’m telling you, you can’t leave me, you can’t. I don’t… there’s no point of anything if you’re not here, Sammy. SAM. PLEASE.”

It was useless.

Hours passed.

“Sammy if you don’t open your eyes this second,” Dean took in a shuddering breath, he knew this wasn’t going to work, knew nothing was going to work but he had to keep trying, had to, there was no other way, “If you don’t open your eyes this second, I am going to jump out that fucking window.”

 

Nothing happened. Of course.

 

 **23.00** “Sam, I’m begging you.”

 **00.00** “Sam, sit the fuck up already.”

 **01.00** “Sam, for God’s sake, just - just wake up.”

 **02.00** “You’re not fooling anyone here, Sam. I’m basically going to wait ‘til you wake up and then I’m going to kick your ass.”

 **03.00** “Sam?”

 **04.00** “Sam.”

 **05.00** the light was starting to streak through the curtains, lighting up his Sammy’s face. “I love you.”

 **06.00** “Sammy, you know you’re beautiful, right?”

 **07.00** “Sammy. Sammy. Sammy. Sammy.” _Just his name. Not of any use. No use. None. But keep saying it. Keep at it._ If it’s not going to wake his motherfucking self at least it’s going to keep Dean going a while longer. “Sammy. Sammy. Sammy.”

~

The first night after Dean had made the deal, Sam had slept. Of course he’d slept, it was a normal thing to do, to be expected. But Dean couldn’t sleep. He was terrified. What if the demon had just joked around? What if he’d put him in a dream? What if he was going to make Sammy die in his sleep just to see Dean’s reaction?

Dean tossed and tossed and threw his blanket off and buried himself in it and finally sat up straight in his bed, facing Sam. Adorable little brother who, as usual, was oblivious to his hell. The idiot should get fucking paid for closing his eyes and smiling in his dreams when Dean’s mind was torturing itself.

“Sammy?”

Sam grunted and mumbled something in his sleep.

Dean smiled. He got off his bed, padded across the room and sat down in front of Sam’s bed, watching his chest rise and fall. He leaned against the chest of drawers and kept watching, watching, watching… as his eyes began to close and he… slowly… fell… asleep.

~

Sam woke up in the morning, sunlight drowning the room in painfully bright yellow. He stretched and sat up, and noticed his elder brother propped up against the chest of drawers, fast asleep. Sam smiled, watching his chest rise and fall. “I love you.”


End file.
